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What do we strive for? If you are anything like me, you crave consistency and efficiency. We all want life to be easier, and we search for the most effective way to do things. But what happens when these patterns become so automatic that they start running us? Our patterns are formed from how we…
Just as fear can freeze us, so can shame. The shame from regret will freeze us. Regrets can keep us stuck in the past just like unfelt fear and grief. We are very familiar with sadness as one of our core emotions. The held back sadness builds in us like our national debt, creating future…
The first time I read about alexithymia — difficulty in experiencing, expressing, and describing emotional responses — I laughed. Now they have a diagnosis for being a normal man. Then I thought about how true that diagnosis would be for me. If you know me, you know that I started my journey shut down in…
In the previous post, we discussed transitions, the second of three stages of change (separation was the first). Here we will move into the third stage: reintegration (a process of integrating someone back into society). Once you have hit bottom, once you have survived your transition, you enter a process of integration, first with yourself…
In the previous post, we discussed separation, the first of three stages of change. Here we will move into the second stage, transition, or as others call it, liminality[i]. As you let go of one connection or situation, there is a moment you are not holding on to anything, or it feels no one has a hold…
I grew up telling myself that my feelings were not important — that no one cared how I felt. Taught that even thinking a bad thought was a sin, I believed that my hell was my fault. If it was going to change, I had to figure it out. Admittedly, I chose to be a…
