Just as fear can freeze us, so can shame. The shame from regret will freeze us. Regrets can keep us stuck in the past just like unfelt fear and grief. We are very familiar with sadness as one of …
Where Are You on the Alexithymia Scale?
The first time I read about alexithymia -- difficulty in experiencing, expressing, and describing emotional responses -- I laughed. Now they have a diagnosis for being a normal man. Then I thought …
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The Arc of Change Part 3
In the previous post, we discussed transitions, the second of three stages of change (separation was the first). Here we will move into the third stage: reintegration (a process of integrating someone …
The Arc of Change Part 2
In the previous post, we discussed separation, the first of three stages of change. Here we will move into the second stage, transition, or as others call it, …
I Think, Therefore I am
I grew up telling myself that my feelings were not important -- that no one cared how I felt. Taught that even thinking a bad thought was a sin, I believed that my hell was my fault. If it was going …
Seek Discomfort
What do we love? Control. When I get honest about my former obsession with control, my approach to life was “How can I minimize my risk?”. Sure, that can be a good survival strategy; it sucks as …