It’s Not Your Psychology
It’s Your Physiology
The science behind trauma teaches us that when we cannot express ourselves or take some kind of action, we disconnect from what we feel. It makes sense; rather than continuing to feel the stress and pain, evolution gave us the ability to disconnect from our experience and, consequently, from authentically connecting to others – to focus on survival.
We may have an array of explanations for why things are the way they are. Some of the explanations may be true, but we still struggle to achieve fulfillment.
Reset Connection
The good news with being hardwired to connect is that with the proper guidance, a man can quickly develop the necessary skills he was not able to create as a kid. Research over the last 50 years tells us that we need authentic connections as humans. Without real connection, our nervous system becomes stressed. We’ve become so accustomed to it, we don’t realize we are in some form of our survival response. When we have authentic connections, our bodies relax and heal.
The first step in down-regulating the stress response that we have accepted as the norm is to train our bodies to be as good at being present as they have become at being stressed. So often we are told to relax only to feel we have failed at another skill.
Over many years of study and working with thousands of men, MELD discovered how to weave science and simple practices to create a powerful approach to developing sustainable connections. Support and feedback from other men became key to achieving what was impossible as a child or an adult.
Train with Me
If you are interested in experiencing this work in a group, in a live event, or training with me, you need to do it through MELD. My corporate and professional trainings are also done via MELD.
Our events are open to anyone who identifies as a man. Our year-long professional training consists of men from their late twenties to the late sixties – men creating their careers or developing new careers. Some, such as our therapists, psychiatrists, and coaches, attend to learn skills not taught anywhere else. We have men from every continent in our trainings.
Men discover how powerfully applying the MELD Method can facilitate generative change and reward being part of men’s lives.
Owen Marcus
In 1995, I embarked on a transformative journey into men’s emotional wellness—not by choice, but by necessity. My own profound personal pain became the catalyst for seeking solutions I had long avoided out of fear.
Challenging traditional approaches, to my surprise, I developed a groundbreaking men’s group support model that emerged from my clinical practice, training with the founders of somatic psychotherapy, and personal experience. After completing my straw bale house in the North Idaho woods—a symbol of my unconventional path—I founded the Sandpoint Men’s Group (SMG) in my living room. What began as a small experiment grew into a powerful community of over 500 alumni and more than 60 active members.
This work catalyzed the creation of EVRYMAN and now MELD (Men’s Emotional Leadership Development), demonstrating the transformative potential of evidence-based peer support. By integrating Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) framework, I’ve collaborated with EFT therapists to design and lead international couple’s intensives, workshops, and retreats over the past decade. My ongoing exploration of male emotional support continues to enhance relational dynamics and personal growth.
As an original member of the United States Association for Body Psychotherapy (USABP), I’ve dedicated my career to integrating emotional physiology, polyvagal theory, and community-focused support. My approach is deeply personal and scientifically grounded—shaped by my gifts of dyslexia and Asperger’s Syndrome and refined through tens of thousands of hours of group and private facilitation.
I am honored that the programs I created have appeared in national media and been studied by leading researchers. My work has been taught to coaches, therapists, and laymen as my professional certification trainings. The impact has been remarkable: men are not only transforming their own lives and the lives of their family members—many are now leading other men to do the same.
Today, I continue to challenge traditional narratives about men’s emotional health. With multiple decades of experience, I’m committed to guiding men through their emotional growth—a journey that is challenging, unexpectedly enjoyable, and immensely fulfilling.