Over the years of developing our somatic-based method of working with men and couples, I discovered how natural it is for both men and women to utilize this method to create sustainable change.
It’s my honor to have studied with innovators in the fields of somatic therapies, trauma physiology, and attachment theory. Much of what we crafted came from them.
Here is a visual review of my presentation. You can get the PDF of this here.
Stress and Trauma Effects on Us
The Longitudinal Effects of Stress
When I began teaching Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), I uncovered a critical gap in the otherwise insightful program crafted by Jon Kabat-Zinn. It was the silent, gradual drain on our body’s essential energy—our vitality, our chi—eroded by the relentless wear of stress and trauma.
I devised two illustrative charts, which I overlaid into one to shed light on this phenomenon. The first chart depicts our life’s journey, starting at birth brimming with vital energy, only to have it chipped away by life’s stressors, traumas, and illnesses.
The second chart presents two telling curves. The first illustrates the natural cycle of stress and trauma recovery—a peak of arousal followed by a descent into the calm of the parasympathetic state; our body’s restful idle. This is the innate recovery process seen across the mammalian kingdom, exemplified by animals shaking off trauma.
The second curve reveals a more troubling path. It shows what happens when our stress responses fail to resolve: the unreleased tension disrupts our baseline state, shifting it from parasympathetic calm to a constant, heightened sympathetic alertness.
This shift has profound implications. Our very existence becomes a battle for survival. We begin to burn out, our reservoirs of life force diminish, and we start drawing from our core vitality. The consequences are stark: accelerated aging, a compromised immune system, and increased susceptibility to a host of modern metabolic diseases.
To reclaim our health, we must reverse this insidious process. Eliminating chronic stress and rekindling our body’s innate healing capabilities is essential. With stressors removed and bolstered by proper nutrition, restful sleep, and meaningful connections, our bodies possess a remarkable capacity for regeneration.
Our genetic blueprint is designed for recovery. The stress of life may have convinced us otherwise, but the truth remains: healing is within our reach, if only we allow ourselves the time to slow down and heal.
Window of Tolerance
The “Window of Tolerance” is a concept in psychology that describes the optimal zone of arousal where a person can function most effectively. When an individual is within this window, they can effectively manage and cope with the stresses and challenges of everyday life. The theory is deeply rooted in the understanding of the nervous system, particularly in the context of Stephen Porges’s polyvagal theory. Porges’s work suggests that our nervous system has evolved to respond to threats and safety, impacting our ability to manage stress. The polyvagal theory explains that our physiological state influences our emotional and psychological responses. A regulated, calm state allows for a wider window of tolerance, enabling us to handle stress more effectively.
As chronic stress diminishes, the window of tolerance expands, allowing individuals to handle acute stress more effectively. This is because a reduced baseline of stress enhances the body’s ability to return to a state of calm after being triggered.
As much as your stress and trauma physiology took us out, we can develop skills where our physiology can be our superpower.
I wish you the best on your journey to creating your desired relationships. It was an honor to meet you all.
This is an extract of a professional training manual we use to train men to lead our trainings and coach. What’s included will guide you in applying what you learned.
To discover more about our work with men and organizations: www.MELD.community. You are welcome to contact me personally at: owen [at] owenmarcus.com. For more on how our bodies support connection, check out the rest of my site and blog: www.owenmarcus.com
Owen