As the new masculinity is evolving and being defined, we are stepping out of the old roles of what a man is. The softer and more vulnerable sides, often described as feminine qualities, are finding a new home in men. The old macho is now truly old. The sensitive, feminine qualities previously modeled by women, are now being modeled by men.
What are feminine qualities for a man?
I am fine calling these qualities feminine qualities. I understand that in a pure sense we aren’t speaking about the feminine being a woman, but the feminine being a polarity of the masculine. You have two poles on a magnet; you have two poles of expression.
That said, if we are to enroll other men in a fuller expression of themselves, we are best served to have another way to describe these qualities other than feminine. Until a man experiences the benefits of the emotions and intuition of this pole, he may resist becoming more ‘feminine’.
How these qualities show up in a man is often different than how they show up in a woman. As men we tried being ‘sensitive’. What we got was a feminine man. We didn’t get a new man.
Deepak Chopra in this post writes, “When you, as a man, realize the profound value of the feminine, only then can you awaken it in your relationships and in yourself. It’s humbling for the average man to look upon his wife or partner as his spiritual teacher, but in the most honest relationships, both are teachers.”
Teaching men the full range of masculinity
I agree with his statement. Yet, for some men, telling them to value the feminine when they don’t value the essence of the masculine can be a stretch. How about saying, when a man relaxes into being a man he learns to appreciate the qualities associated with women. He learns to enjoy a deeper range of emotions as well as the power of his intuition.
My fear is if we lead with encouraging the average guy to be more like a woman, either he resists or he becomes a ‘sensitive man’. Neither is a happy man.
Deepak Chopra’s believes, “men need to become wise about women, and that can only happen when women value themselves. The spiritual goal of both sexes is to discover their true self.” Men also need to be more comfortable being their own sex. For a man to achieve that level of self empowerment he needs to learn from or at least hang with men.
I am the first to say women can teach us. I have learned a tremendous amount from women. At some point men need to learn from other men how to embody these ‘feminine qualities’. Continuing to go back just to the feminine can be self defeating. Let’s support men and boys learning to be men that possess these magnificent qualities.
Do you feel men can teach boys and men to possess these qualities?