This post is the second in a series of three. The first is here.
Let her have power over you
As the hunter, you have power. Yet as prey, she is in control. Unlike in the wild, she gets to decide when she will allow you to capture her. The person who has the power to say no controls the game. She will love having control over you.
As silly as this might seem, that little switch in the dynamics makes an enormous difference for her, which means it will significantly impact your relationship and you. So as you hunt her, let her say no. Set her up to say no. Let this dance be a place where she gets to say no.
See the entire hunt as one long, slow seduction. Make it a sport you love and want to excel at. Study all the ways you can perfect your new sport. Enjoy practicing.
Here are a few skills to use:
- Tease – Relax and start framing situations as opportunities to tease her. To be clear, I am speaking about fun ways. I’m not speaking about using it as a passive-aggressive way to express your anger. Banter with her. Tell her what you won’t do to her. Pretend you don’t see her.
- Go slow – women like slow. Draw out your pursuit. Enjoy holding back.
- Have fun – the more fun you are having, the more fun she is having, and the more turned on she will be.
- Make it a game – as you get good at this, you will develop several “games” that you can pick up at any time to play or tease her with.
- Enjoy practicing – as you would enjoy practicing your golf game, do what you need to do.
- Appeal to her unconscious – you can’t reason a woman into seduction. I know. Many years ago I tried. Then I learned that any seduction is an induction. In other words, seducing a woman is much like putting her into a hypnotic trance. A trance state is the opposite of a stress state. In a trance she will stop thinking and start responding. The secret to putting her into a trance is for you to be in one. You get there by being relaxed and being in your “seductive flow.”
Use the power of subtle touch
Linked to the unconscious is the body. One way to help relax her and turn her on at the same time is to use subtle touch, like you would use your words to induce her into your seduction.
I’m not speaking of sexual touch; I mean flirtatious touch. That slight brushing up against her leg where she wonders was it accidental, or was he teasing me? Treat her as if you have never been lovers and you are using every portal possible to connect with her. You want to be multi-dimensional as possible.
The power of using her body as a portal is that it short cuts her head. It immediately connects to her more primitive aspects. Also, by allowing herself to feel the subtle contact, she relaxes more as she surrenders more to you.
Use your light touch as if it was a short whisper into her ear, telling her what you want to do to her.
Engage her imagination
This may be harder for you to do at first than for her to receive. Yet when you direct her imagination focus around you and your relationship, you will see benefits.
Our unconscious is always on in the background, either sabotaging us or helping us. It’s like a child: when left alone, he will get in trouble. When she doesn’t feel you in the way she wants to, her mind and body will start questioning your relationship. She will make up fantasies that can grow like a computer virus. She might admit they’re irrational. It won’t matter; they will still take her mind over.
So give her mind something good to focus on – thinking about you. You do this by using the above tools. Send her a quick text or email that says, “Just thinking about you.” Leave her a note where only she will find it. I know a woman who saved a voicemail from her husband that said, “I’m standing in the sunshine thinking about how much I love you.” She’s had that voicemail more than a year, and listens to it periodically when she needs a lift! She told me it makes her feel loved and cherished. Just a simple voicemail.
You can play out fantasies. Your text messages, notes, letters and more can be around a theme or two. It can make it a big treasure hunt. The anticipation of what is next will be where her mind escapes to in those moments between her conscious thoughts. Each time she reflects on that thing you did, she is thinking about you and feeling how she wants you.
Again, simple and fun are the operative words. A few actions per day can transform your relationship. Also helping with ‘housework’, the things that she does makes a woman feel cared for. As a friend told me:
We are so inundated with dishes and laundry and work and kids, when our men take even ONE of those things off our shoulders, it makes us feel so loved. My cousin came home early to run kids around for his wife, and she was basically waiting for him in lingerie just because of that.
Photo by liquene