Truth will set you free, and it might get you laid. Women are amazing at spotting our BS. I’m not just talking about the half-truths we tell in attempt to slip out of being a man; I’m speaking about how we seduce a woman. A canned compliment is less likely to get you what you want rather than a specific, risky and “felt” compliment.
If you’re turned on by Sally and tell her, “You’re hot!” It might be true, and it might be your ‘grunt’ reacting. If you start feeling your own experience and thinking with your other brain you might come up with something that is more meaningful and effective. Slow down – fast is not always good. Ask yourself what it is about Sally that has you feeling she’s hot. It might be her figure, go deeper into your awareness. You notice the way her low back curves into her butt is unique and a turn on. So say, “I love how your back has this delicious curve sculpturing out a beautiful butt.” You can see how that might get you further instead of saying “you have a hot ass.”
You don’t need to believe me on this. Men’s Health wrote about research done on what women want and how to deliver it.
Evolutionary psychologists have shown that women are programmed to be skeptical of what you say. It’s their way of protecting themselves from manipulative men who don’t want to commit to relationships.
You can use this as the secret to creating good lines, or you can use this as a way and an incentive to be aware along with how to communicate that awareness. The article states, “The most memorable and flattering compliments arise from genuine emotions.” When you open up and risk, you’re proving to the woman you’re safe and the space is safe for her. As men we need to go into the cave first to make sure there are no bears. We need to lead with the risk. That is a huge turn on for women.
As you approach women, use being with women as immediate feedback on your authenticity. Keep going deep into your truth and risk speaking it. You’ll be a little rough at first but that actually can work for you. Yes, women will see that you’re not smooth. My experience with my roughness and feedback from many women is that in most cases it’s a turn on. They’ll notice that it’s hard for you and will appreciate your courage and vulnerability. While some women won’t be interested, there are others – even many of those ‘beautiful women’ – who will melt.
Women are always telling me they aren’t looking for perfection, they’re looking for authenticity. Women are actually more forgiving of imperfection then men are at first. If you need help learning how to be authentic, I highly recommend AMP – the Authentic Men Program. These men and women will teach you the power of just being yourself. They will have you being a magnet for women.
The next time you have an opportunity to give anyone a compliment, practice being sincere and specific. When you’re with a woman, practice your poetry of truth. Let me know how it goes. If you have done this, what was your experience? If you’re woman reading this, what is your experience when a man shows up this way?