Follow the Energy
- Image via Wikipedia
Does it give or take energy?
What is your payout? Are you getting a return on your investment? Are you putting more energy into a task or relationship than you are getting out?
If you’re like me, you’ve had situations that drained you. You know, the ones that you don’t look forward to. The ones that you come away from with less energy than when you started, these are the ones that are sucking your vital energy. These situations may be a small interaction with one client or they can be your career.
How do you get your energy back?
First, you get sober to what is happening. Where are your biggest leaks? Get honest. It might not be that car that is a problem; it might be your work. When the economy was good it was easy to replace draining energy with a new toy. Now that you might not have the distractions, what do you do?
Create a list of the things in your life that are taking your energy. The following list will help direct you to the areas of your life where you might be losing energy.
- Body
- Emotions
- Mental
- Spiritual/religious
- Career/education
- Relationships/sexual/family
- Community
- Space/home/work
- Money
- Fun/hobbies/sports
What are your top three drains?
It might be easier not start with the most challenging item. You can start with an easier one to ramp up to the one that will give you the most energy. In many cases, you will be saying no to get your energy back.
The power of no
No can be the most difficult word to say. When I say no, I often risk losing a relationship. If you feel that fear, ask yourself, Am I getting my needs meant? Be honest, and then ask yourself who is the source of the problem. Is it the other person? Is it you? Or, are both parties responsible? To the extent you are the problem, start communicating your feelings and wants. To the extent it is someone else, communicate your feelings and wants. If the situation changes with communication – great, if it doesn’t change, you can then decide if you want to continue with it.
Saying no creates boundaries. Unfortunately, we are not taught or encouraged to do this as kids. There aren’t many healthy models out there on how to keep your personal and physical space safe and clean.
Be prepared to have people object to your requests. Often the ones who object the most are the ones who are sucking the most energy. While this sounds mean, a shift can occur when you allow yourself to possibly be perceived as mean. Even the bluntest person can find standing their ground for what they feel and want to be difficult.
Follow the pleasure energy
What gives you energy beyond the act of doing it? Marcus Buckingham speaks about championing strengths. Why give energy to what you don’t like or are not good at? Invest in what you enjoy and makes you happy. While this sounds obvious, we all become numb when we dream about what we want while not working towards it. What passion do you have that you aren’t pursuing?
Just the pursuit for your dream can give you energy. Remember the feeling you had as a kid of wanting a toy so much that you worked until you got it? When we work for what we want, the work is more fun and goes quickly. I suspect you may notice that sometimes the bigger payout wasn’t the reward, but what was experienced or learned while doing the work.
If you are not enjoying what you are doing, or if it is not immediately giving you energy, will it produce the thing that will? Think of it this way, In 30 years when you wake up from your task, will you be glad you started? Many years ago, a client who was a pediatric neurologist, announced during a session he was done with being a doc. He quickly left medicine because he realized it wasn’t his dream. Going to work every day was slowing killing him. Is something slowing killing you?
Photo: via Wikipedia
For me energy is a question of Passion vs Obligation. When I pursue relationships, projects, activities out of passion I give, and recieve, positive energy. And usually come away energized. When I am in Obligation mode and pursue relationships, projects and activities out of a sense of obligation, I put in less energry, or more accurately, the energy I put in is more negative, and I usually take away very little, or only negative, energy. I am drained. Of course, sometimes there is a surprise benfit, but they are few and far between. Follow the passion and the energy flows.
Phil,
You are right. I lose energy and inspiration when a should shows up, even if it is mine. At that point I look for a place that I have a genuine desire. And there are times when I realize later that I was resisting and not enjoy because I was doing it out of obligation.
I agree that you have to have a passion about something in order to be inspired and ultimately motivated in a positve direction. But, how does one manifest this passion if circumstances have pretty much drained you, both physically and mentally. Say for example a woman, such as myself, has spent all of her life as a mother, wife and co-worker and now has the time and opportunity to be just HERSELF. It is overwhelming to allow myself to be, well frankly, selfish finally. How do you get beyond feeling unfocused and empty to being energized and driven enough to get moving?
Sue,
That is a very good question. That is a question many have. We are a culture of chronic fatigued men and women who spent their vital energy. Some take Prozac to get the energy back – but they don’t get vital energy, they get a energy similar to caffeine.
To get the energy you had as a child you essentially need to travel what I call the Whole Adventure, which in your case begins with slowing down and resting. For so many of us, we are so wired that we can’t slow down. We need help releasing the stress that keeps us wired when we are exhausted. There are therapies such as Rolfing and homeopathy than can assist in the relaxing. I will be writing about many more.
Please continue to fallow these posts. Many will address your concerns. Keep asking questions. You are on the brink of a new adventure. If you stay with it, it will transform your life.