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I grew up aspiring to do things myself – isn’t that what men do? Along with not feeling and certainly not showing my emotions, I worked at being self-reliant. To ask for help was showing weakness. The thought that another could impact my experience, or that I could unknowingly impact another, was not possible. My…
Recently in my group, I spoke about how my survival response takes over when Dalia, my partner, and I fight. From a brain perspective, our amygdala, an almond-shaped piece in the middle of our brain, is there to keep us safe. It is what others call our reptilian brain — the oldest part of our…
When you wake up and realize you are going to work, how do you feel? Are you excited, or are you sad wanting to pull the covers back over your head? If you are like many men, you are not looking forward to work, or possibly to life. With general happiness levels for men continuing…
Men ask how can I explain what occurs in my men’s group or mentoring sessions. Possibly the best explanation comes from David Rock, Ph.D. the founder of the NeuroLeadership Institute. David builds on what we teach about how the body responds to stress. In his podcast with Dan Doty of Evryman, he unpacks why men…
You know that person who always has something nice to say, even when you told him how you just had the worst day of your life? You spilled out your guts only to receive back some New Age or motivational affirmation about how good always comes from bad. If you are like me, rather than…
Trauma and chronic stress significantly impacts us. More than any other phenomenon they impact our emotional intelligence. You don’t need to have gone to war to be experience their physiological or psychological effects. Much of the work I do with men and women can be traced to trauma. Bill Smythe, a colleague of mine wrote…
