Men ask how can I explain what occurs in my men’s group or mentoring sessions.
Possibly the best explanation comes from David Rock, Ph.D. the founder of the NeuroLeadership Institute. David builds on what we teach about how the body responds to stress. In his podcast with Dan Doty of Evryman, he unpacks why men sabotage themselves with emotions.
David explains how repressed emotions are maladaptive. We aren’t designed to hold back emotions as we do. Why would we? We do it because at the moment it feels like our survival depends upon ‘controlling’ our emotions. Over time, what was situational becomes habitual.
If we have to choose between avoiding a threat or seeking pleasure, we will avoid the threat. Because we grow up needing our adults to protect us, we become wired to need social approval. The possibility of losing it is a threat we want to avoid.