Our male ancestors wrote the rules around work. As men we are more likely to be the enforcers of those rules. What we are coming to realize is that we are also possibly the biggest victims of these rules. Why do you think men die before women?
Nigel Marsh in his TED video speaks about work balance. His four observations:
- Get honest – certain jobs don’t allow for home and work balance.
- Face the truth – we as individuals have to take responsibility. Don’t let others determine the quality of your life.
- Careful with your timeframe to judge balance – balance doesn’t occur all in one day or when we are retired.
- Approach balance in a balanced way – small things matter… being in the moment transform your life and society’s definition of success.
Watch his short video, it’s good.
You can do it
Get honest – is your life killing you? Do you have those moments of bliss that Nigel spoke about with his son? Is there something about your work that feeds you? Or are you putting in time as if you are serving a prison term?
I know… “you can’t just quit.” Or can you? I have had clients that quit being doctors and attorneys to pursue a life of purpose.
More than having passion for something, you need to have behaviors that are moving towards a life of balance. Each man’s balance is different and that balance will change throughout your life. It never finds you. You need to go out looking for it. It might come to you in an unexpected way, but it comes to you because you are available. Just like the single guy who never goes out, never interacts, and wonders why he has no date to have balance, you must get off your ass and start doing something.
Take up a hobby. Join a men’s group. Go learn something new.
As Nigel said, take responsibility for your life. Here is a secret… once you start, small miracles will start happening. Magic will start showing up.
Are you living a life of balance and purpose? If not, what are you doing to have one?