How do you know if you need a men’s group? Answer this question:
Who do you call when you’re in trouble?
This question comes from my friend Ken Solin, who has been leading men’s groups in the Marin County area for 20 years. Ken, a former business owner and motorcycle rider, is no touchy-feely “New Ager.” And this isn’t a touchy-feely question–it’s a right-to-the-heart question.
Who do you call when you need help working through your divorce, dealing with the death of a family member, facing the loss of your job, coping with depression, or whatever has you wanting to run away and hide?
No matter how good your partner is, you need more, I need more, all men need more. We might not admit it – but I am here to tell you that a good men’s group enriches your life in ways you won’t know until you’re there.
Wayne Levine suggests including your group in all the big decisions of your life. He tells his men to bring it to the group before they get a divorce or propose. It’s not that the group approves or disapproves; the group is just the witness, a reality check. In my groups, men have come to a meeting planning to ask their wives for a divorce… and leave with such a huge breakthrough, it transformed their marriage.
I hear often from men that they don’t have the kind of friends they had while in school. That’s sad. A men’s group can give you that and more. Years ago, one man described his group as the men who will be his pallbearers. Groups evolve to match the evolution of the men in them. In the six years of the Sandpoint Men’s Groups, we created a community of friends like the friends we had as kids.
Ken Solin, Dan Doty and are I are working on creating the nonprofit Men Corps. In part, Men Corps supports men creating their own free groups. Stay tuned, I will keep you informed.
How can I help you with your group, or with starting a group?
