I believe in the brotherhood of all men, but I don’t believe in wasting brotherhood on anyone who doesn’t want to practice it with me. Brotherhood is a two-way street. Malcom X
A natural needIt’s in our genome: we are genetically engineered to need our tribe of male allies. We need men to watch our backs hunting, in battle We need to know that when it gets tough someone is behind us making sure we don’t get gored by a wild animal, or spitted by the enemy; making sure we know we aren’t alone and making sure we follow our own command. There is no greater honor than to be asked to watch another man’s back. His request tells you that he respects and trusts you. Conversely, there may be no greater shame than to be told that you aren’t trusted to watch a man’ back. When we went out on our hunting parties, our survival depended on other men assisting in the stalking, killing and hauling out of prey. If you were injured or trapped, you had your brothers to save you. Beyond the physical necessities of the past we still share the emotional need of other men complementing our own masculinity. As lone men we have no understanding, appreciation or honor for what only a man knows. We too often rely on our female partners to council us about our emotional affairs. It’s good that our partners do that, and good thatwe receive that from them. Yet over time a relationship can become strained when a man’s female partner is his only source of emotional support. Most women have several other women to use as support, but most men have no close friends. When you risk reaching out to other men for this level of support, you relax–as does your partner. Rather than always needing support from your partner you now have your brothers watching your emotional back. With support from your buddies, it’s easier for you to be there for your partner. Over the years of leading men’s groups, I repeatedly heard from women that as their man opened to the group he became less needy towards her. These women weren’t complaining about their men’s needs, though; they were appreciating how their partners felt full from the support of their male friends.
Brotherhood is the very price and condition of man’s survival. Carlos P. Romulo