TEDx Talk: What 10,000 Years of Progress Has Cost Men
Tools and plans for every man to build his OWN life
What do guys like?
We like tools and toys. Here in North Idaho, many men have a shop with not just their tools, but their sports equipment, tractor, 4-wheeler, snow-mobile, etc. Women might be suckers for buying that new pair of shoes; men are suckers for buying that new set of clubs or power tool. We tell ourselves that the latest and greatest is worth the investment because it will improve our game or help us make better turns on the slopes.
I’m not going to give you new tools, equipment or toys. But I will give you some of the best ways to free yourself so you can win. So you can be Remarkable.
It’s not therapy
There is nothing that will get a man running for the door faster than for someone to suggest he should go to therapy. Many of us see therapy as our kryptonite: it will weaken us; we will no longer be a man.
This is not all paranoia.
When you step back to look at therapy, you see a profession dominated by women, in a cultural milieu of feminine emotionality.
Over the last 150 years or so, men became less and less connected to our families as we moved from the farm to the factory to the office. Children lost a masculine presence. Women did what they had to do – they stepped up. They stepped in to fill the gap of the father not being there to co-raise the children. What it meant to be emotional was taught more and more by women. The norm became skewed towards the feminine.
Because this is the water we all swim in, we don’t realize that the masculine perspective of emotionality is missing. Being a macho man or a new age sensitive man is not being emotional in the essence of what it means to be a man.
So when a man is told he needs therapy, he feels, on a primordial level, that the remaining sliver of masculine emotionality will be squeezed out of him. It’s not that men don’t care. We do! We just know that learning to be more emotional in a feminine manner is not the answer for us or our partner.
Do it like a man
Stop trying to be a better man through learning what is not you. Stop putting on clothes that aren’t yours.
Start discovering what was never modeled or taught to you… or maybe never encouraged or allowed. Learn from other men how real men are emotional.
And here’s the kicker: when you really step into living an as emotionally healthy man, women will actually appreciate you more and be more attracted to you. In spite of what they are told, women find that they would rather have a man who is emotional in a masculine way than some masculine version of themselves. There needs to be a distinct difference in how each sex is emotional so there is polarity and attraction.
Use what I present to return to your Masculine Emotional Intelligence. Through this site, the resources I offer and our Free to Win site, begin building the life you want.
It can be simple, quick and fun to walk away from a model that doesn’t serve either sex. Step into a model that has its roots in the tribes of our ancestors. The essence of that way of being is still in you. It’s in every man’s genome.
A Course for Men where your emotions become your superpower
We surveyed and interviewed men around the world to learn what they wanted. What are your challenges? That was our leading question.
Few people ever ask us what we want in our lives, or what we want emotionally. Even though we live in an emotional world, we often remain disconnected from it. It’s as if we are sitting in the bleachers watching others play down on the field.
With this course, we want to begin to give you what few men ever got. We also want you to give us feedback so we can better serve you and other men.
Check out what you can can here.
The book: Grow Up: A Man’s Guide to Masculine Emotional Intelligence
The book I wanted but didn’t have… so I created it.
The meta list
In writing Grow Up: A Man’s Guide to Masculine Emotional Intelligence I compiled a list of resources (websites) for men to create that life.. This list is always growing. Give me your suggestions to share with other men.
Bookmarks: Tools and Resources For Men
Mentoring Men Program
Few of us ever had mentors or have them now. Taught life is about getting it together on our own, we strive for self-reliance. Not only have we lost a tribe, we lost men showing us what works.
After years of working with men in many capacities, I created a program that goes beyond coaching. The program weaves proven techniques designed for men with your immediate needs.
For a long time I stopped taking clients. I am now taking on a few men who want to move through what’s holding them back to a place that is amazing… and sustainable.
If you are ready to roll your selves up and have a man watch your back as you take big steps forward—click on the button to learn more.
Here are a few important posts that will help you get your feet on solid ground so you can start moving toward what YOU want.