Are you honest and powerful in your speaking? In our groups we support men to speak in ‘I statements’. That means, if you are speaking about your experience you would not say “when men get angry they repress their feelings.” You would say, “When I get angry I repress my feelings.”
The most powerful and honest way to speak about your experience is to speak about your experience. It can be scary to do this. Anything short of doing this is just talk. Listen to others when they speak. When they talk in the second or third persons about their emotions – what is your experience? Are you repelled or are drawn to them? Are you in a trance, as they are, or are you more present as they are from risking their truth?
You don’t have to trust me on this. There is a new study out by a few Stanford University researchers telling us how to know if a business executive is lying. They warn us if an executive is using “you” and “we” versus “me” and “I,” there is a great chance he is lying.
Listen to others and to your speaking. Notice when you shift from saying I. What are you avoiding?
Let me know your experience around speaking in the first person.