Do you have everything you want? If you did, would you be happy?
We are led to believe that having more stuff will bring more happiness. One remarkable thing about the Millennials is that they might eschew that belief.
Unfortunately, like all of us, Millennials weren’t given an idea of how to go beyond the material to find happiness. Some of us travel. Some of us explore different traditions. Some of us seek to just escape. We may learn a lot, but we still haven’t found the Holy Grail.
After a decade of outer and inner exploration, people might reach their thirties wondering what is missing from their lives. They might think, “I did everything I was told to do, but life is not giving me back what I was promised.”
It’s not your fault. You did the hard work. It’s that you weren’t given the complete owner’s manual to life. You weren’t shown that connection and purpose are the missing aspects of a happy life.
Where It All Came from
We are not given a clear path to happiness. Some say that this lack of focus comes from our parents or our household’s structure. Regardless of its source, we might find that we lack emotional and social connections with other people. A person on a path that doesn’t lead to his or her life’s purpose is rudderless.
When we are focused on having adventures in our twenties—which is normal and healthy—we might think that deep connection and purpose are unimportant. These become important when we want to start living a more fulfilling life.
There Is an Out
How can we find these emotional and social connections? We can seek out authentic interaction with other individuals, something we may not have had growing up.
We might not know what we are missing, let alone its full importance, because we never had it nor have our friends. Connecting with other people is not some new age encounter group for losers or New Age hippies. These connections can be formed with anyone, in any environment, and they are the key to developing your emotional intelligence.
You could discover how to have your emotions be your superpower. You could uncover your life’s purpose.
By developing connections with other people, you might find that your relationships change. Without effort, you begin to be your real self. People, from your partner to your coworkers to your bosses, want to interact with real people. You can stand out by being genuine, a simple quality that brings intrinsic joy and connection.
Doing It
It’s normal to feel a bit intimidated or scared as you begin to connect authentically with other people. I admit that seems arbitrary and perhaps silly to say a defined group of people can give you much more that a group of friends. However, in my experience, I have found that this is actually the case.
You can get real and talk about deep things with your friends, and this will bring you closer to them and also help you find your life’s purpose. But it might not provide you with everything that’s possible if you step out of your comfort zone and connect with people you don’t know well.
There are many places that you can go to find people to connect with. You can go to Meet Ups and connect with strangers who share your political and social values, or who share a common interest in a hobby or pastime. If you’re feeling proactive, you can go to our nonprofit www.mencorps.org to download a free doc on how to start a group. You can hire me or my company to come in to train you, or you join us at www.evryman.co to be part of our group leadership system.
So, what are you going to do?
Let us know how we can help. Let us know if you have any questions. I will respond to your comments and questions.
You deserve to have what you want, even if you are just now figuring out what that is.
