You want better sex? Of course, you do.
After trying the latest and greatest techniques, you discover that some techniques just don’t cut it. How do you fix this? Listen to your partner, who is an expert in what she or he wants you to learn!
You need to slow down and be more sensitive. Your partner knows what she likes. Listen and learn. And foster an open dialog that allows your partner to be honest about what is good and what just isn’t working.
Diving deeper than the sex
The problem does not come from women or men. The point is to be open and honest with your partner about what works. Don’t fall prey to gender stereotypes that will prevent you from open, honest communication.
Better sex can be in your future
You don’t need to take a sensitivity training! You just need to listen to your own somatic and emotional intelligence.
For years we have been trained to shut down our sensitivity and our awareness of our experience. We learned not to trust what our gut and heart was telling us.
The path to amazing sex is a path of emotional awareness!
How can you achieve this? Learn that expressing your emotions is healthy, regardless of your gender.
The Short Course to Better Sex
The best way to have better sex is to be authentic with your emotions. Do not shut yourself off from your partner. Do not shut yourself off from yourself. Do not suppress your emotions. Do not develop a perception of your partner based solely on your emotions.
Being Sensitive Should Not Be a New Age Thing
A lot of people might shame men, telling them that being sensitive is bad or “feminine.” This is utterly ridiculous. Emotional intelligence and emotional assertiveness are skills that will enhance your relationship with your partner—both in the bedroom and outside of it.
What You Can Do Now
You can get started right now. You can start by sensing your body. What does your body feel and want? Yes, it wants sex—that’s why you’re reading this! I’m speaking on an ongoing basis.
When I had a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction company in Phoenix, we trained stressed-out professionals how to transform their lives through being more aware of what was occurring in their bodies. As we told them, you don’t learn it under stress. You learn it when you can feel the subtleties of what your body is doing.
The more connected you are to our body, the more connected you will be to your emotions. The more connected you are to your body and emotions, the more your partner will connect with you…and the better the sex will be!
Communication Is the Biggest Aphrodisiac
Your partner wants you to talk to him or her. We do our best to have an intimate conversation with them, and every so often it just doesn’t work. This is normal! You’re human. But you can improve your communication skills.
To start with, consider whether what you think is emotional connection might not be. Also, analyzing your relationship—or for that matter, your partner—is definitely not emotional communication.
Healthy communication can vary from couple to couple, and you and your partner need to decide what works best for in your relationship. You and your partner might stumble. That’s okay. You can be vulnerable. Communication with your partner should be a safe space in which you learn how to be a better person.
Take a Risk—Be Sensitive
Outside of the bedroom, start a risky conversation with your partner—or, maybe even your date if you think he or she would be receptive to this.
Don’t have any preconceptions about where this conversation will go. Just enjoy the conversation as you would enjoy a good meal.
Share your experience with other people. Share it with us. I will respond.
Be your own sensitive person—have better sex as a result.
