Many years ago, we are talking decades; I had a teacher explain metaphors to me.
This teacher used the difference between the War for Independence, which I was interested in, and the Civil War, which my father studied. It made perfect sense to me. I cherished my independence, and my father grew up in a family of conflict. I saw at that moment how we are attracted to what represents our lives and their challenges.
Soon after my initiation into historical metaphors, I discovered NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming) and Ericksonian Hypnosis. With his indirect approach to hypnosis, Milton Erickson, a dyslexic psychiatrist, taught us how the unconscious mind organizes and changes. Unlike the conscious mind, the unconscious does not think linearly. It thinks rationally. Erickson, later the founders of NLP, used metaphors to affect powerful change gently.
We all like to hear stories. Ever since humans could speak, we have told stories. These stories entertained and taught. I didn’t realize that they also create new meta-frames and unconscious patterns. Hearing a story takes us out of our conscious, analytical minds and puts us into our innocent, open minds enjoying being entertained.
What would be the underlying theme or metaphor if someone spoke to your life as a story? Using the standard arc of a good story, what problem are you solving in act three?
A core tenant of EVRYMAN’s work is that we don’t linger in our story, indeed the one we’ve told ourselves hundreds of times.
Let’s step back from ‘telling the story’ to experiencing its metaphor – what it’s teaching you? Because we are an actor in this play we created, it can be hard to step out of it. That is where your group or friends comes in. After being in your group for a while, we all know each other’s stories and the metaphor behind the story. Like with entertaining stories, we may not be conscious of the central theme, but we have an excellent felt sense of it.
Each man speaks about what he feels his metaphor for this life is. If it was a play, what is the resolution you are seeking? Explain to the best of your ability the key variables and people in your story – only spend a couple of minutes telling the story. It may be hard to make short – I know you can do it.
The group will give you feedback on your metaphor – does it ring true for them? This exercise is not about getting the right metaphor. It’s about stepping back from living your stories to experience them from a new perspective. Feel what comes up as you speak about what is the metaphor for your life. Feel what comes up when others speak about your story. Feel how your attachment to your story and the meaning you place on it show up.
Have compassion; your story is what got you through tough times. It’s as if the train has come to the end of its tracks. Before you can get on your new train, you need to experience where the train took you.
What is life attempting to teach you? How well are you doing learning it? Again, less on understanding it all and more on the somatic and emotional experience. Feeling what you were unable to feel is what will set you free.
