“I’m Not the Man I Want to Be.”
For a few decades, I’ve heard that phrase. The worst part is that when we come to that realization, we not only feel depressed, we feel trapped. We don’t see a way out.
I figured I could man it out. Work harder, think about it more and maybe it will change. It didn’t.
Know you’re not alone. The men who started EVRYMAN all know the despair of dead ends. In 2016 we came together to take much of what I have honed in forty years of coaching, training, and leading men’s groups to a new level. We created events that sell out and consistently exceed men’s expectations. Men around the country who started Evryman groups began writing to tell us how their lives have been transformed by Evryman.
Here’s the secret: ultimately, all we are doing is giving men the skills and support they have never received before. A strange thing happens when a man gets from other men what he didn’t have before — he starts succeeding.
We have all been there. A customer asks a simple question, and you lose it. You see an attractive woman who has something others don’t, but you freeze; you can’t find the words to be authentic. Or you come home to your partner only to notice how disconnected you are from the woman you love.
Know that it’s not you. It’s what you were or were not taught. It will be what you do about it that will change it.
A few important facts:
- Your body stores stress, setting you up to respond in a stressful manner
- You learn survival patterns that saved you when no one else would
- You reached a place of diminishing returns where as good as your survival patterns are, you are only surviving and not thriving
A few solutions:
- Get out of survival mode. Train your body and emotions not to automatically go there
- Know other men are in similar places and connecting with them can help everyone
- Discover how emotions will set you free
Take action; try something new:
- Read my posts and sign up for my Toolbox of Change to receive my free mini-course
- Join us at one of our EVRYMAN retreats or expeditions
- Contact me for coaching
- Join or start a men’s group; EVRYMAN will help you
The team of amazing men at EVRYMAN are here to help you. Most of us don’t realize the power that lies in connecting with other men who are taking their lives back. I resisted for several years. Those were years I wasted.
Check us out at www.evryman.com. Let us know how we can serve you.
Read about our mission in the New York Times
Go on an Expedition in Men’s Health
Learn about Groups in GQ
Watch us on the Today Show