Regenerative RelationshipTM
A science-based method for couples to rediscover connection
You know and feel that intimacy is good for your body and soul. Yet, that relationship you had so much hope for is not giving you the connection you crave.
Our work is to put you on a path of regeneration
A path where much of the pain is healed, and you practice transforming previously difficult situations into opportunities for connection. I know you are thinking, “How is that possible right now?”.
In my training as well as in decades of working with thousands of men and women, I have seen what at first I did not think was possible. When your body and your mind discover untaught down-regulation skills to the stress response and simple connect skills, you will begin to instinctively do it.
Costa Rica Coules Retreat
Reignite Your
Relationship
Couples Intensive
With Dalia Anderman, LMT, I offer couples intensives. For two days, we take a dive deep into deconstructing what doesn’t work to help you construct what will work. It is not a he-said-she-said experience. It is about getting honest about what drove you apart in a compassionate way. Couples often discover that the deeper drives existed before they met.
It is a significant investment that will improve an essential part of your life.
Some come because the know the love is there; they want to feel it once again. Others come they want a different legacy for their kids. Still others come to discover if continuing the relationship is the best action. All come because they care for themselves and their partner.
Whatever your reasons, we want you to leave the session on the right path for you with a new level of connection and compassion.
Couples Workshops
Our Hold Me Tight (HMT) weekend workshops* use Sue Johnson Ph.D.’s brilliant process of unpacking our relationships with Seven Conversations. We have been told it is like someone finally handing out the playbook for relationships.
It is not a group experience, although you are welcome to share with the group. It is an intimate experience where you and your partner have the conversations you have never had. It melts my heart to be honored to sit with couples assisting them through these conversations. The authenticity releases and opens people up to rekindle the love they once had.
*Hold Me Tight® is a registered trademark of Sue Johnson
Couples Coaching
Sure, my focus is working with men. Being a man, I know something about men. More importantly, being a disconnected, uptight man, I know how challenging it can be for a man to open up.
So often, from the outside, it looks like we are not trying — but we are. The problem is no different than hiring a plumber to rewire your home. He may be a great plumber, but he does not have the training or the tools to lay wire.
In our workshops and intensives — as well as in my couples coaching — I often see that as men, we think we are being emotional, but we are just analyzing, fixing, or judging. Helping men and women speak from their emotional experiences can transform a relationship. Frequently it is the simple shifts that make the significant changes.
The Uniqueness of Relational Coaching
I work together with Dalia Anderman, LMFT, a couple’s therapist. We share clients, teach HMT workshops, and offer couples intensives. We are committed to helping couples reconnect through their innate desire for connections. Dalia’s work with Sue Johnson, Ph.D., and my work with the somatic and trauma therapy innovators weaves together the parallel research of attachment theory and stress physiology.
“Fix It”
For many years, we were told that if we could fix our brokenness, we would solve our problems. Well, as smart as we may be, we realize that does not work. Often, a person will feel ashamed when the problem still exists after doing all the right things.
A Broken System
The issue may still exist because the system used to change it is limited and does not heal the underlying problem.
It’s the Cycle, Not You
Dalia and I work to unpack the negative cycle relationships get into by using our natural ability to connect to our own experiences and then to the experiences of others. When we shift from chasing the symptoms or the “he-said-she-said” to the deeper emotions, the couples we work with open up. Once open, connection naturally returns.
Rebuild Attraction & Desire
When communication shifts from fights or avoidance to being together, couples feel safe, and they relax. Forgiveness, vulnerability, and attraction return. We are simple animals in the sense that when we feel safe and appreciated, we are attractive.
Change the State
It’s not that we don’t know how to connect; it’s that we don’t have the skills to get into the state that creates connection.
You Can Do It
You may believe you or your partner can’t get there. Over the years, we have had many clients who have tried other approaches and have been on the verge of giving up. Often their desire for connection eroded to simply wanting peace. But a lot more than the absence of pain is possible.
Trainings
As the success of the MELD Method grows, so does the requests to experience the work and learn how to do it.
Public Trainings
Most of the personal growth trainings I lead are for men through EVRYMAN and now MELD. I speak at conferences on our work and train business people.
In part because of my experience with men, I am invited to teach women as well, as with Breakup Bootcamp.
Professional Trainings
Through EVRYMAN and now MELD, I lead professional training for men and women around the MELD Method and how to work with men.
These trainings are for coaches, therapists, and psychiatrists.