About You… building the life YOU want
Through stories, research, personal and professional experience, and how-to guides, I hope to give you what you need to be the man you dream of being. This blog is about serving men, and the women who love men. Supporting you with what you need, to create the life you want, is my goal.
Men are living in the duality of being macho OR sensitive. It doesn’t have to be either/or. You can have it both ways—you can have it all—by entering into the new place of relaxed power. We are no longer just hard-ass men; nor are we men trying to be emotionally real by modeling women. We are teaching each other that a man can be strong and open simultaneously. We are teaching each other how to succeed as Remarkable Men.
From the men I’ve had the privilege to work with, I’ve learned something vital: more than anything, what holds us back from being Remarkable is how we matured as men.
We didn’t learn what we needed because, first, it wasn’t taught to us or modeled for us.
Even if it was, we were often too busy just surviving to embody effective masculinity.
If I can learn and change, so can you. I am here to show you the simple ways to do it, and support you in doing it. I want to give you the support I often didn’t have. I won’t lie; I’m getting something out of this, too! Helping you get what I didn’t get helps fill a void in me. So, do me a favor–let me help you build the life you want!
To better serve men and their groups, we created EVRYMAN.
Over the years of sitting in men’s groups, then leading trainings, we discovered that when men develop the skills of authentic connection, their lives become richer. Rather than surviving what life brings you, you have a crew who stands with you and you with them.
In supporting men, we are supporting the therapists and coaches who support men. We do that through training the men in our groups and trainings that are these professionals. We do it in a co-ed setting though exclusive programs for therapists and coaches. With 57% of men embarrassed to seek help, our events and groups encourage men to get help from their peers.
Evryman is Crossfit for your Emotions. The New York Times
Life changing benefits of being vulnerable.
My husband & I just returned from the HMT workshop. Dalia & Owen definitely have the incredible (secret) gift in strengthening relationships from all ages & stages. My husband & I grew more this weekend than we have in 20 years of marriage. It's like couples therapy on steroids. My husband was able learn about & experience the life changing benefits of being vulnerable. We discovered what negative pattern(s) we get into that keep us disconnected & trigger our "issues" rather than help move us towards growth, healing & connection. They make it easy to find & understand our "raw spots" without shame or judgement. Thank you Dalia & Owen for your labor of love & dedication to this important life changing work!
I've been doing 'men's work' as various people define it for over three and a half years with various organizations, and Owen is one of the most authentic, heartfelt, and generous men I've encountered through this work. And his level of insight is commensurate with that of a man who was worked on himself and worked with others passionately for four decades. Owen has been and continues to be a huge inspiration and support on my own journey to becoming more fully human...and more fully me. I highly recommend working with him if you're lucky enough to have the opportunity to do so.
Initially I was hesitant/reluctant/resistant
I am a small business owner, husband and father.
Initially I was hesitant/reluctant/resistant and even angry with myself for making the commitment to participate in F2W for a weekend. Upon arriving and fully immersing myself in the process, led by facilitators and supported by a group of powerful men, I confronted past traumatic experiences and subsequently I was able to heal chronic physical pain that had manifested in my body. Thank you, Owen and Brad, for guiding me toward a better way of living. I highly recommend Free To Win.
My relationship now is stronger than ever.
I went to thhis Hold Me Tight EFT workshop this past weekend with Dalia Anderman and Owen Marcus and was blown away by the experience and the results. I want to share the knowledge that something like this exists which I think every couple could benefit from! Dalia & Owen definitely have the incredible (secret) gift in strengthening relationships from all ages & stages.
My husband & I grew more this weekend than we have in 20 years of marriage. It's like couples therapy on steroids. My husband was able learn about & experience the life changing benefits of being vulnerable
I Cannot Believe
I just cannot believe how powerful this men's work is. I'm a therapist and have had a ton of therapy and nothing, nothing can compare with the release, growth, empowerment, and physical energizing that has resulted from my work on these 2-day intensive weekends. It is like I've been walking around life with a huge weight on my shoulders, keeping me down. The 2-day intensive rapidly and beautifully dissolves that weight enabling me to stand up.
Support and empathy
As I have worked with Owen, I have quickly learned life changing insights into myself and into men in general. Owen has the unique ability to cut through the barriers that we as men put up, while offering a level of support and empathy that is hard to find. Owen's decades of experience in working in the realms of physical, mental and spiritual healing allow for him to take a truly holistic approach to helping others reach their fullest potential. I am proud to call Owen my teacher, my mentor and above all else, my friend.
Realized I had a lot that I contributed
My name is Doug and I was going thru a divorce after 23 years of marriage. I found out I had a lot of emotional pent up anger and was not vulnerable in a relationship and realized after the workshop I had a lot that I contributed to the marriage not working. It is freeing to let that out and anticipate I will go thru life differently.
Stopped me from being a back seat driver
The men’s group that Owen Marcus developed stopped me from being a back seat driver. I’m now living from my passions. Having men like Owen, who challenges me to come with my whole self is such a blessing. Left to my own devices I would just live a mediocre life.
A New Masculinity
Owen gave me my first glimpse of masculinity as I’d like to practice it, versus how I do act as a man. The two of them have given my wife and I more time to heal and improve. I will be seeking out Owen and Dalia again.”
Comfortable and confident
I never felt comfortable around groups of men so I learned early in life to avoid that situation. A year ago, circumstances forced me to confront this problem and I became uncharacteristically distraught over it, so wanted to understand the problem and fix it, ASAP. I met Owen at a party and after a brief conversation I felt sure that he knew the solution so I committed to participating in Sandpoint Men's Group for a year and I started making progress immediately. After a few months, I found that I was comfortable and confident around groups of men for the first time in my life.
I credit Owen for modeling all of these skills, and then encouraging and supporting me to get good at them too.
I think men are lucky, and therefore, I think the world is lucky.
It’s not all smiles and sunshine with Owen. It’s easy to project my father issues onto him. And I’m pretty sure that’s true for other people as well.
But that’s what rocks about Owen… He can handle it.
He can love you WHILE you are working out your father issues with him… when it’s not so much fun for him.
He will be in your court and will go to bat for you. AND… he demands that you take responsibility for yourself. As our fathers should have… and hopefully did.
And if our fathers didn’t... this is one way our father issues can get healed… we project them onto someone who responds with both the love and firmness that a good parent would, and our hearts and our nervous systems heal.
I feel lucky, I think men are lucky, and therefore, I think the world is lucky... to have Owen in it.
I have worked with Owen for the Sandpoint Men’s Group, and he has gone *above and beyond* to help both the men in the group AND me. Over and over.
Owen is a force of nature. You would be hard pressed to find a stronger advocate for men. An advocate for men to become their best selves… more accountable in their lives, more aware of their bodies, AND how they can learn to become more aware of their feelings through paying attention to the physiology of their bodies. He works his ass off to demand more of men, to build their emotional intelligence, to mentor them, to connect with them, to love them as they should have been loved.
I do similar work for men (from a woman’s perspective), and the way Owen is a powerhouse for me regularly brings tears to my eyes.
Because the same purpose drives both of us, I feel massively fortunate to have Owen on my side… encouraging me, empowering me, reminding me of my best, celebrating me.
I wish the same for any man. I wish that you are lucky enough to work with Owen
I have been in many different group-learning experiences over the years. Owen has catalyzed more ongoing personal breakthroughs for me more than the rest combined.
Changed my life
My work with Owen over the past 10 years has changed - and maybe saved - my life.
I have witnessed Owen's work with men, women, and couples, and am always touched by how deep he can go. I have watched him help men access their vulnerability that they, and their partner, have longed for decades. He brings safety, sincerity, and authenticity like no one I've ever met.
I have been married for 25 years and there were times I thought there was no way this relationship would survive. Not only has it survived it’s the best it has ever been.
For the first time in my life, I am beginning to honor and love the man I see in the mirror.
I've worked with Owen for over seven years, and can honestly say that he has been a HUGE catalyst for me to step into not only my greatest self, but the life I have always dreamt of. Owen is masterful (and I don't use that word lightly) at facilitating men's work, both in supporting men on the healing journey and in guiding men to create their deepest calling in the world. If you are ready to succeed, work with Owen. I give him my highest recommendation!
Men’s Emotional Intelligence is not an oxymoron.
Since we left our tribes 10,000 years ago, men have been in the home, around their children, less and less. Most men were working the farm with their sons by their sides for thousands of years. Then 200 years ago, many men left the farm for the factory; 30 years ago we left the factory for the computer.
With men gone more, there was less male emotional input in raising kids. Men received their emotional education from women. Women did what they had to do; they did the best they could. But both men and women began to assume a man felt and expressed emotions in the same way as women. Yes, there are similarities. But there are critical differences.
A man expressing his emotions in this culturally-skewed manner can be as ineffective as a man avoiding expressing his emotions at all. As a man you aren’t bad, broken or doomed. You can unlearn what doesn’t serve you. Discover a new model of what it is to be a man; a model of Masculine Emotional Intelligence.
A little about me
I started working with men and men’s groups purely for selfish reasons. After twenty years of working on healing my Asperger’s Syndrome, dyslexia, dyspraxia (dyslexia of the body), ADHD, a fatal heart condition, and then Lyme’s Disease, I discovered something was still missing. My mind was finally working, but my life wasn’t. I wasn’t happy. My relationships with women were better than many, but they weren’t great. I had done a lot of work on many aspects of myself. I studied with leading therapists and innovators then went on to teach with them. I had worked with over a thousand clients and students. I’d started and run successful businesses. Still, I felt flat.
When I opened my eyes and got honest, I realized I had avoided the whole issue of being a man. Looking back, I think my hope was that I could do all the other work I was doing… and “being a man” would just happen. Well, it didn’t.
So I took a deep breath and called an old friend in Washington, DC. I asked him about “that men’s organization” he was involved with. Not having a clue what I was getting into (which had me in panic with my controling tendencies), I signed up for a weekend with just men.
Honestly, I was less interested in their training and more interested in their groups. I knew I could handle a training. Hell, I’d led my own. What scared me was being real, on a regular basis, with the same group of men. It didn’t take long to learn I was not the only scared man there. Then my fear transformed into excitement.
After my first men’s group in 1996, I was hooked. These groups taught men what we never got to learn. I can now say I’m a man. Something I couldn’t have said before I began my journey with men’s groups.
My TEDx talk will give you an overview why as men we struggle emotionally and what we can do about it. When you read my book, Grow Up, and these posts, you will quickly realize I am a huge advocate for free men’s groups. I created the nonprofit Men Corps as a way to help men start their own groups. The documentary film About Men dives deep into our work with men’s groups. Yet it’s our company EVRYMAN, that is my biggest passion. Through EVRYMAN, I get to help more men than I ever could with all my other endeavors.
For men who want more, we created Emotional Leadership Coaching. For businesses, I lead trainings that get teams connected in ways that make work more enjoyable and productive. I also co-lead weekend trainings for couples using the work of Susan Johnston, Ph.D. which fits beautiful with our work at EVRYMAN. Much of my time is spent training other professionals in what we do. We regularly train therapists and coaches how to help men.
Realizing the growing need for support in creating men’s groups and guidance around developing skills never taught, I joined up with my partners to create EVRYMAN. The most powerful and least expensive way to create a successful life and brotherhood is to have a thriving group. As Evryman grows, so does our offerings: group leadership guidance and mentoring, retreats, expeditions, coaching, and regular membership training. In all my years assisting men, I never saw anyone offer what Evryman is offering, check us out. We would enjoy having you be part of EVRYMAN.
As a note, I am not a therapist. With my training in somatic psychotherapy I am a member of the United States Association for Body Psychotherapy. For years I’ve trained coaches, therapists, and psychiatrists in our work. Both men and women discover how to best support men in the change using Emotional Physiology.
Please contact us if you have any questions, challenges, or something of interest to share. We all are in this together, I need your help.
If you like, call: (802) 318-4809
219 Cedar Street, Suite A
Sandpoint, ID 83864
For our legal info, please go here.