About You… building the life YOU want
Through stories, research, personal and professional experience, and how-to guides, I hope to give you what you need to be the man you dream of being.This blog is about serving men, and the women who love men. Supporting you with what you need, to create the life you want, is my goal.
Men are leaving behind the duality of being macho OR sensitive. It doesn’t have to be either/or. You can have it both ways—you can have it all—by entering into the new place of relaxed power. We are no longer just hard-ass men; nor are we men trying to be emotionally real by modeling women. We are teaching each other that a man can be strong and open simultaneously. We are teaching each other how to succeed as Remarkable Men.
From the men I’ve had the privilege to work with, I’ve learned something vital: more than anything, what holds us back from being Remarkable is how we matured as men.
We didn’t learn what we needed because, first, it wasn’t taught to us or modeled for us.
Even if it was, we were often too busy just surviving to embody effective masculinity.
If I can learn and change, so can you. I am here to show you the simple ways to do it, and support you in doing it. I want to give you the support I often didn’t have. I won’t lie; I’m getting something out of this, too! Helping you get what I didn’t get helps fill a void in me. So, do me a favor–let me help you build the life you want!
Most days on social media, I post interesting stories related to men, women and relationships. One good place to see them is on my Google+ account.
Check out our site Free to Win to discover what services and products we offer to speed your development of Remarkableness.
Masculine Emotional Intelligence is not an oxymoron.
It’s men being men. Real men. Emotional men. In a masculine way. Since we left our tribes 10,000 years ago, men have been in the home, around their children, less and less. Most men were working the farm with their sons by their sides for thousands of years. Then 200 years ago, many men left the farm for the factory; 30 years ago we left the factory for the computer.
With men gone more, there was less male emotional input in raising kids. Men received their emotional education from women. Women did what they had to do; they did the best they could. But both men and women began to assume a man felt and expressed emotions in the same way as women.Yes, there are similarities. But there are critical differences.
A man expressing his emotions in this culturally-skewed manner can be as ineffective as a man avoiding expressing his emotions at all.As a man you aren’t bad, broken or doomed. You can unlearn what doesn’t serve you. Discover a new model of what it is to be a man; a model of Masculine Emotional Intelligence.
A little about me
I started working with men and men’s groups purely for selfish reasons. After twenty years of working on healing my Asperger’s Syndrome, dyslexia, dyspraxia (dyslexia of the body), ADHD, a fatal heart condition, and then Lyme’s Disease, I discovered something was still missing. My mind was finally working, but my life wasn’t. I wasn’t happy. My relationships with women were better than most, but they weren’t great. I had done a lot of work on many aspects of myself. I studied with masters then went on to teach with them. I had worked with over a thousand clients and students. I’d started and run successful businesses. Still, I felt flat.
When I opened my eyes and got honest, I realized I had avoided the whole issue of being a man. Looking back, I think my hope was that I could do all the other work I was doing… and “being a man” would just happen. Well, it didn’t.
So I took a deep breath and called an old friend in Washington, DC. I asked him about “that men’s organization” he was involved with. Not having a clue what I was getting into (which scared me and freaked out my control-freak tendencies), I signed up for Mankind Project’s New Warrior Weekend.
Honestly, I was less interested in their training and more interested in their groups. I knew I could handle a training. Hell, I’d led my own. What scared me was being real, on a regular basis, with the same group of men. It didn’t take long to learn I was not the only scared man there. . Then my fear transformed into excitement.
After my first men’s group in 1996, I was hooked. These groups taught men what we never got to learn. I can now say I’m a man. Something I couldn’t have said before I began my journey with men’s groups.
When you read my book, Grow Up, and these posts, you will quickly realize I am a huge advocate for free men’s groups. I created the nonprofit Men Corps as a way to help men start their own groups. I created Free to Win to introduce men to the power of men’s groups and teach them how to start and lead a group.
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